How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

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Two weeks ago I published a post about overcoming the pressure of being productive. Within that post, I touched on the topic of comparing ourselves to others. Shortly after I thought, why not share the ways I've been trying to kick the bad habit of comparison and start living for me?

We make comparisons without any realization that we're doing so. But, comparing ourselves will always prevent us from fully living our own lives. This mindset brings us to envy someone else's life and we start seeking out their life rather than our own.

The temptation to make negative comparisons can be hard, and may never be completely eliminated. However, there are absolutely some useful steps that we can take to push past it and start living for ourselves.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

#1 Recognize the negative results of comparisons.

Acts of comparison can do a lot more than reducing confidence levels. There are so many dangers that come alongside the habit of comparison. Here are a few things that comparisons can lead to:

1. Feelings of self-doubt.
2. Competitiveness rather than collaboration.
3. Makes your self-worth reliant on the achievements of others. For example, someone does well, you aren't as good. Someone is doing poorly, you are "better" than them.
4. We focus on other's strengths and we compare those strengths to our weaknesses. This is an unfair comparison, and we end up neglecting our own strengths in the process.
5. You can end up resenting others (whether they are strangers, friends, or people in the same niche/business as you).
6. You lose your sense of self.

#2 Be aware.

Acknowledgment is the first step when it comes to learning how to avoid negative comparisons. Comparison is a bad habit, therefore sometimes we actually don't realize we are comparing because it's something we are always doing unconciously. A great way to understand your thoughts and habits is by tracking everything down. Really start paying attention to your thoughts, and when you are most likely to start making a comparison.

#3 Remember, we all have flaws.

I read this phrase the other day, "picture your favorite celebrity constipated". This sounds so ridiculous to say but honestly, it's funny and makes a whole lot of sense. The people that you think are better than you, more important than you, are richer, more attractive, etc., they ALL deal with issues and problems of their own, we all do. Social media doesn't capture those times as much as the wins and successes. No one is invisible from difficulties, they happen to everyone in different ways and in different times. Next time you're in a rut, don't think that others haven't been where you are, that you are a failure, or not as worthy. You 100% are worthy, you just need to believe that you are.

#4 Focus on your positive attributes.

Comparing yourself can lead to neglecting your strengths and abilities. Something I've been starting to do is acknowledging my small wins every month. Sometimes when our vision is on our end goal, we miss out on all the things we've accomplished on our way to that goal. It's super important to recognize our potential, and the things we have accomplished, and to always remember that we are worthy and completely capable of accomplishing whatever we want in life. Don't lose sight on all of the wonderful things you have done, and can do.

#5 If you're going to compare, compare yourself to yourself.

If you have anyone you need to be better than, honestly it's your past self. Start doing bi-annual reflections, or monthly reflections and watch how you grow, and become a different person over the years. Really acknowledge the challenges you overcame, the goals you've achieved, and learn how you can always improve and become the best version of yourself.

#6 Be grateful.

Practicing gratitude can help you re-focus on yourself rather than others. Think about all of the positive things in your life that you are extremely grateful for. Start writing down 3-5 things every day that you are truly grateful for! This is a great activity to add to your routines and can have a huge positive impact on your mental health.

#7 Turn comparison to inspiration.

Nothing makes me happier than seeing others accomplish things in life! "Go you!" is the first thought in my head. I use them as motivation to continue on my own journey in life and to be successful in my own ways! Don't look at others like your competition in the "game of life" that you've created in your head! Instead of holding that grudge, reach out to others, and learn from them! Support them just how you'd like to be supported by others. I can promise you that nothing feels better than genuine support and love from others, think about being that person in someone else's life!

#8 Practice self-love.

DO NOT overlook the importance of self-love. Self-love is something you NEED to be making time for every day. Self-love can be a time of reflection, investing in yourself, appreciation, and gratitude for the things you have and have already accomplished.

#9 Accept your journey.

"Your life is your own unique journey -- it is unlike a journey any other person, before you or after you, will ever take." - Shon Mehta.

Remember, just because we do things differently and achieve things at different times, does NOT mean that we are doing things wrong. Your journey will never be the same as someone else's so embrace that your journey is, and will forever be, 100% unique. Use that thought to empower and motivate you to become whoever you want to be in this life!

#10 Know that comparing yourself is a waste of time.

Why choose to spend your time envying the accomplishments of others, when you can start working on your own accomplishments? Believe that you are just as capable of accomplishing anything you want in life, just like those you would compare yourself with. Everything will take hard work and time, stop spending your time thinking you can't and putting yourself down while you sit there and watch others become successful! That time should be used on improving yourself and coming up with your own personal development plan. Remember, comparison places all of your focus on the wrong person.

This is how I've been trying to eliminate comparison in my life. I hope you find this insightful and start living your life the way you want!